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© 2023 by inTune Pathways 

ABN 78 435 698 441

Your Unique Light.

October 12, 2018

 

 

I hid who I really am in business and in life for a while.
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My beautiful mentor suggested I tell people I’m autistic/aspergers.
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I said “OH hell no. They’ll think one of two things”:
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That I’m crazy because I’m autistic, or..
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That I’m crazy because I think I’m autistic.
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Assessed and diagnosed twice. By a number of professionals, researchers, psychologists and academics who specialise in the field of Autism.
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But hey.
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I might just be crazy.
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I’m gonna let you in on the number one, most crucial and important secret. It’s the first and biggest change we have to make in life to be able to live happily.
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And, it’s the most difficult.
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Letting go of our need for approval and permission from others.
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Wooh.
.
Ouch.
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If you’re autistic, you’ll know how important this can be for us..approval, fitting in, acceptance.
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It is drummed into us early on. “You can’t say that out loud”, “Ooh, impolite”, “Don’t wear that”, “Gosh, you’re a bit precious, way too sensitive”, “You’re overthinking it”..
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All that.
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So, we learn to grow into a semi paranoia around pleasing others. Being liked. Feeling good enough.
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And the double edged sword here is that autistics are these bloody incredible truth tellers, helpers, healers, honest, loyal, unrelentingly forgiving, second-third-fourth-fifth-chance givers, insightful, deep overthinkers..
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And people see us coming from a mile away.
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In case you havent noticed, there are people who are often threatened by what’s real and authentic and raw.
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Us.
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So we dim our lights. We change ourselves. We pipe down. Buckle up. Dress appropriately. Say the right things (hopefully). Cause ourselves physical discomfort and pain by overlooking sensory issues and situations that cause overwhelm and stress.
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We mask up. And we mask up tight. Zipped up to the neck.
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There’s a lot written about us autistics feeling as though our life is played out on a stage, like everyone is watching.
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And hey, that’s because it kinda is. And they kinda are.
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People often won’t hesitate to tell us where we’re going wrong in life..
How our social media posts make us look ‘unhinged’, ‘unstable’, ‘different’.
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Oh golly.
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Do you know how many of us give up?
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We give up in school.
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We give up in our families.
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We give up in social circles.
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We give up in the workplace.
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And sometimes..
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We give up in life. Completely. Irreversibly.
.
---
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When others look past the things they find unacceptable about us, they see who we truly are.
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We are people who accept others unconditionally. 
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We are switched on, tuned in, awake.
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We know all of the things you think we don’t know.
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We read your energy, your intentions and your motivations toward us.
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Without you speaking a word.
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And, it has the potential to shut us down.
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It’s time for us to let this go.
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This stuff, these insecurities, these parts of us that others find confronting..
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Are all projections of the fear, insecurity, and deep sense of inadequacy those people feel within themselves.
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Let them own that.
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It isn’t ours. It doesn’t belong with us.
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Say what you mean and mean what you say.
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Be real.
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Be you.
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Let go of the need to be someone you aren’t.
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When I’m in my last days, I do NOT want to say to myself “Hey, I did great at being accepted by everyone. I fit in really well. I shut my light off to do it, but people were okay with me”.
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No thanks.
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I’ll say “Holy shit, I lived my best life. I was true to who I am. I lost people along the way but I picked up my tribe. I attracted the magic that life was waiting to gift to me when I stepped into that courageous space that was created just for me.”
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There is no other you.
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Let your light shine.

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