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  • Kristy Forbes

My Neurodivergent Problem Seeking Brain

Updated: Feb 25

Mine is a neurodivergent brain. Autistic. It’s a problem solver. And where there are no problems, It seeks to find one. Before my eyes open, It scans through all of the possibilities and potentials For problems. My body alerts me by the heaviness in my chest The churning of my gut Anxiety. As a young person This was excruciating Constant Seeking, seeking, scanning For the negative points My problem solving neurodivergence Desperate to be nourished “Remember that time back in 1987, when you were 8 years old and that boy at school said this and you said that?!” I cringe The memories are fresh, alive, awakened, relived Once propelled into a deep, dark space of imagined reality A thousand people Showering me with beautiful compliments Too neutral for my neurodivergence The one person Who criticises, showers me with negativity Wins the air time Takes up the unpaid rental space In my autistic brain Im older now Still neurodivergent Still autistic But friends with my brain No longer self hating No longer self rejecting No longer angry, disappointed, frustrated and confused by my neurodivergence We work together Before my eyes open I feel my protective, hungry, self preserving brain Seeking a problem I meet it with kindness Understanding Acceptance My neurodivergent brain My autistic brain Doing what it does Seeking a problem to solve I meet it with love I meet it with peace My feet hit the deck My body gets moving I nourish my body and brain With creativity With music, art, literature With numbers With organisation With problem solving Just as others learn to understand the autistic brain, We, autistics do too I nourish my body I feed my sensory seeking neurodivergence My autistic being And in turn My problem seeking, problem solving brain Is satisfied. My autistic brain is not the enemy It simply works like a machine Seeking to do what it does best My beautifully, intelligent, progressive, evolutionary neurodivergence. ----- Kristy Forbes Autism & Neurodiversity Support Specialist inTune Pathways ----- Image: Adobe